kisah babi babi belakang rumah me. part 2

so babi satu di dalam sungai ah. tiba-tiba tekeluar tia ia dari sungai ah. tapi mati. kesian. lehernya kana ikat pakai tali ah. rupanya kana tarik oleh buaya ah...

babi dua: VUAYAZ!!

babi tiga: tunggu, biar ya dulu. mati sudah tu ia ah. ajal beb. mana jua dapat di salah kan.

babi dua: eh menangis u kah tiga?

babi tiga: nadalah, i got something in my eyes ah.

so bisdurang ani stay tah ganya meliat babi satu kana makan. well the buaya ani makan tah sorang sorang. bemeja krusi lagi ya dinner ani. di atas meja terhidang babi satu ah with epal arah mulutnya. masatu jua young steven spielberg ada di sana. teliat ya buaya makan babi ah. iatah semenjak atu if u all liat movie barat (bukan heavy) kalau durg dinner kan babi, mesti ada epal arah mulut ah. anyways, babi dua ani inda mau mau lan rescue babi satu. trajun tah ya jua ke sungai ah. before that..

babi dua: beh, if me inda make it, me mau gtau u something, if u survive gtau ayam bini ah di mana jarum emas ah. u tau jua kan dimana? jgn lupa tu ah..

babi tiga: awu~ *sambil menangis nda belagu*

so the babi dua ani swimming tah. suddenly, the same thing happened to ia ani mcam babi satu tadi. ada buaya lagi satu ani. yang buaya the first one tidur dah kekanyangan. so tinggal babu tiga ani lagi. before ia masuk ke sungai atu ia tau sudah hidup nya has come to an end. masa ya masuk ke dalam sungai atu, ia ternampak buaya ani. mcam menunggu sudah kan. tapi weird bah buaya nya ani. like different from the other buayas. so babi tiga swam....

beranang...

swimming..

heran?? sungguh mengherankan.. buaya ani inda makan kedia, c babi tiga ani. babi tiga ani heran kan.. well ia terselamat plg. dapat ia crossed the river. so he asked the buaya ani..

babi tiga: eh kenapa u inda makan me ani? banyak lamaks kaliah. buntak and lamak.

buaya: astee, bukannya apa.. me ani islam. mana dapat makan babi..

babi tiga: banar banar..

the end...

while atu, babi tiga keeps on bejalan on his adventure ani kan cari ayam bini ah. ;)

kisah babi babi belakang rumah me. part 1

ok, usulnya u all ani mau baca cerita saja. cerita cerita cerita. atu tah ganya u all mau. well me ada satu cerita. pasal tiga ekong babi ani. well, i think u know kali dah ni pasal apa. tapi inda apa, me gtau saja. semoga u all terhibur lah.

u see tiga ekong babi ani on an adventure dlm jungle belakang rumah me. durg ani kan jumpa ayam bini me ah yg kehilangan jarum emas ah. maybe babi ani tau kali dimana jarum emas ah. so durg ani bejalan tah pakai kaki empat buting durang atu. tiba-tiba tecium bisdurang bau ancing. kuat berabis. kalah pampers baby beparam dalam esbok. rupanya durg reached sungai hanching sudah. no wonder. well durg ani decided to cross the sungai. masatu jambatan alum kana invented. so durg atu tepaksa beranang lah in order ke sebalah. sebelum atu...

babi satu: eh sungai ani bebau ah.
babi dua: banar banar.
babi tiga: me dangar sungai ani bukan saja tekenal dengan ancingnya. my fwen ckp sungai ani ada buaya.
babi satu: BUAYA??
babi dua: buaya as in vuayaz?
babi tiga: awu beh.
babi satu: nada me pecaya tu eh.

so babi satu trajun tah ke dalam sungai beranang tia. ia ani tekenal ni dengan ranang nya. sebelum ani ia ikut olimpik jua. kalah michael phelps ah. kira handal jua tu. then, entah se mana mana ada epal timbul arah sungai ah. babi satu lagi lapar masatu so di gigitnya epal ah. suddenly temasuk tia babi satu ani ke dalam sungai ah.

babi dua&tiga: TIDAK!!!

bersambung...

another weird dream

entah, ever since aku cakap pasal dream ani ah. lately i could remember everything yang happened in my dream. my mom said dream is like a message from somebody. well she dreamt pasal my uncle and nini boy sama girl which were already meninggal dunia. semoga di cucuri roh mereka, amin. entah, i dont know what happened in her dream atu but she said durang rindukan us, the living ones. sedih.

well about my dream ani it is different i dont think it was a message. what i remembered when i was awake, aku teliat dvd pasal hantu. teliat as in macam teliat kotaknya saja wah terampai atas meja beside tempat ku tidur. tajuknya hantu ambulance. then i just ignored the kotak dvd atu tarus tidur pasal ngaleh bakas main bola. so i woke up in a place. i mean woke up in my dream. get it? so i was in a shopping centre. ramai orang and stuff. suddenly there was a robbery. the criminals were using guns. typical robbery bah. u get the picture? then i saved the world inda tau cana. maybe i threw batu bata arah criminals atu kali. then it suddenly went black out. then aku tebangun. i mean i was still in the dream. so i woke up and still in the shopping centre. that place jadi dark wah. merijap lah mcm bakas explosion. people hurt di sana. so ada ambulance lah helped the injured ones.

ok here comes the scary part. i went outside the shopping centre. i talked to the nurse wearing white uniform.

me: i want to go to the hospital. im injured. please.
the nurse: tu, ikut saja that nurse. krita ambulance kami semua panuh.

That nurse was wearing black. ia masatu with a patient. wearing black gaun jua. but creepier. macam mati sudah usulnya. like a living corpse. zombie bah. atu pun inda paham. so the black nurse tanya aku mau ikut or inda. then ia cakap ia pakai the car ambulance while pointing to the car ambulance which was the same as yang arah kotak dvd hantu ambulance ah. wooooo~ aku reject tarus eh request nya ah. then the nurse cakap menyasal ko ni. then aku masuk balik ke shopping centre. suddenly i could see dead people around me. merijap ani wah. kamu inda plg merijap kali ganya membaca. aku wah experienced that dream. haha

here is the picture of that dvd.


creepy kan? sadang. haha. well, let me tell u how this story goes. well, car ambulance ani haunted lah. pasal dalam atu ada orang meninggal bakas accident. jadi haunted tarus. aku inda plg meliat sampai abis crita ani. boreng. haahh. dream dream dream, i hope it was just a dream.

dream

well i have two theories pasal dream ani based on my own experience lah

1. u think of it, u dream of it

that night, i've watched be kind rewind. first i thought movie ani pasal durg dapat rewind their time. apakan. but when i watched, boring ani wah. so i slept.. i remember that i dreamt pasal ppbs hang out somewhere lah duduk2 on the streets. di bandar kali. skali ada cgu hamid datang marahi nya kami. sudah atu siringku c bahrin. liatkannya ada remote anikan. katanya boleh balik semula. so aku pkir which time aku mau balik semula, "1 day before or 2 days before??" skali c bahrin ckp balik semula the time before cgu hamid dtg. i said ok. haahhaha like inda pedah jua tu. baru jua skjp. so kami bent the time pakai remote ah. the we suddenty became invisible. masatu kami masuk arah bangunan. skali ada c aiman. mcm tau ya kami invisible ah. majal lah kan di pgang nya kami ah. skali c bahrin lari tinggal aku sorg sama c aiman. well c aiman inda plg nampak aku. maybe dapat cium bau kali. hahha sekali lupaku. ada lah tu. as a conclusion, what i thought before i went to sleep jadi ke mimpi

2. u watch it, u dream of it.

that night, i watched police academy. lupa ku which one. so lama lah aku meliat police academy ah until i tetidur. what i remember is that, i've been chased by some guys. bad guys kali, aku the good guy. inda clear bah that dream. well, durg chased tah aku, then masa aku mimpi atu aku fikir lah, "nada durg dapat aku ni eh. aku bakas liat police academy, ada experience kaliah," something like that. well atu saja. as a conclusion, what i watched before i went to sleep jadi ke mimpi. so if u watch porn sebelum tidur ada tah wet dream kali, i've never tried plg. maybe later ;p

tapi these kind of dreams only happen with one condition.

masa kamu meliat movies apa before tidur mesti kamu tetidur. mcm u didnt expect to tetidur. paham u? me pun. i dont know if my theories ani lurus or inda. maybe ikut kehendak Ilahi. ;D

the endings and almost ending

the endings..

yesterday, o level exam abis. chemistry paper 2 was the last paper and i answered most of the questions. mudahan saja semua lurus yg ku jawab ah. anyways, thats like end of everything. before this balik ke rumah tarus buka buku. but now, balik ke rumah my brain went totally blank! nada kan di buat lagi bah. HAHAHA

the other thing, i'm trying to end my "mcm menunggu sungai inda baulu" story. please try not to understand this. first i felt like bagai pinang di belah dua or bagai bulan di pagar bintang. kinda lame but whatever. as the time goes i feel like i'm catching a flying bird while i, myself standing on the ground. so now i realized i've been wasting my time chasing a leopard. a very fast leopard. im starting to buy a new book at Bismi and write at a new page. i just hope the choice that i make is the choice that i can live tomorrow. entah, ani ku ikutkan arah library ah. one problem is that, the more i think about leaving this stuff, the more pain i get. i hope u dont understand each word i wrote.

the almost ending...

yesterday, ada ppb match lawan couzin c mizan. well around that time c jon unexpectedly cangak aku punya leher. what the hell gila kan mati rasanya. its like the death came to me and said, "eksen me!" well, ia cangak aku psl aku simpan beg kesayangan nya tampat lain. well c syarif ia jua. c syarif yg menyimpan tampat atu. aku jua yg kana. astee.

Photos of Siti Bobby

Sedih beb, masa ku membaca suratnya ah. bakas betaip lagi tu pakai komputer. pandai jua ia makai barang catu atu. aku lagi kepayahan.

ani masa first time ku jumpa ia. masa tu ia tebalik pulg.

ani ku simpan arah kertas supaya nampak clear.

ani rumahnya. aku yg decorate tu.


well, banyak pulg lagi photos nya ah. nanti lah lagi ku upload. lagging bah connection ah. cana jua.

Surat Dari Siti Bobby

Dear readers,

Me menulis letter ani bukannya apa kan gtau u all yang me mau cari laki me Bobby. so me buat letter ani kan anu, to tell u all yg me ani meninggalkan u buat selamanya. well, me rasa u all inda syg me lagi bah. me kan gtau u pulang like muka tu muka. but then payah bah, language kitani pakai not equal. sorry lah beb. from the bottom of me punya heart, even though me nada heart banar like u ada, me masih syg u. ganya me syg husband me more bah. sama atu jua, well selalunya if zul ke sekulah, sebelum ani kana tanya tu mana me ani. well masatu me tinggal di rumah. manyap bilik me beh. hancur wah masatu. kalah bilik ayyub. nada manis. now, kalau zul ke sekulah, mana ada u all tanya pasal me lagi. iatah me sedih tu masa zul gtau me sudah ya sampai ke rumah. menangis tak berlagu me beh lapas atu, banjir bilik me tarus. atu ya zul tarus ngambil hair dryer dari bilik kaka nya. helpful eh c zul atu. atu saja kali. well, u wont be seeing me lagi like forever.

from,

S.B.

kisah edward cullen part 4

author's note:
this is the moment you've been waiting for. this is the moment you've been craving for. this is the ending of a story which has already been told to the world and retold by me *my story is better :P* please sit down and relax. open ur shirts, trousers, socks and underwear before reading this story because it will be a very hot one :p

the story starts here..

~Would you know my name If I saw you in heaven Will it be the same~
~If I saw you in heaven I must be strong, and carry on Cause I know I don't belong~
~Here in heaven~

edward cullen: adeh, kenal me ni. lagu erik corrupted-ton. nice song. reminds me of her. *sobs*

so rupanya edward cullen ke syurga~ well ia mati kana bunuh bah masa mencari rezeki iatah dikirakan mati mulia tu. tiba-tiba malaikat datang. yeah~ *nada bowh*

malaikat: edward, edward. bedarah2 bdn u ani. btw, welcome to the heaven!
edward cullen: HEAVEN? iawah? damn~ akhir nya sampai jua me ksni. eh apa heaven anikan?
malaikat. astee, heaven ani the place where u can have sex everyday without ngaleh. drink beer as much as u can and u will never get drunk.
edward cullen: wow, manis tampatnya ani ah. like my cribs in the mtv cribs.
malaikat: cribs mu? adeh stop talking crap and starts talking like a crab.
edward cullen: adeh belawanan u ani. *ilang tarus idea*

tiba-tiba. malaikat besar pun datang. God msatu cuti ke Narnia kan c jumpa c lion ah c Aslan.

malaikat big: eh edward, we've been expecting u. kamah badan u ani. baiktah me cuci kan u dulu di perigi kausar ah.
edward cullen. thanks beb.
malaikat big: wait a minute!
edward cullen: u pun tau jua lagu PCD atu. astee~
malaikat big: inda bah, bukannya darah JOKO kan tu?
edward cullen: errrrr, auu *kajar2 mcm aku kajar2 ari atu ah* kenapakan?
malaikat big: kami ani ada issue wah. pasal c joko ani. dulu ia...

let me tell u cana. well joko died in a mulia way. so went to heaven. sudah ia di heaven galap tarus bah syurga ah. so joko kana antar ke neraka. di neraka, sudah ia disna, tarang mendarang bah neraka ah. kalah syurga. syaitan mana suka tarang2. so kana antar tah saja ke dunia..

edward cullen: so what? jubur mu bejarawat?
malaikat big: well darah u atu darah c joko. kami inda menerima anything dari c joko. so edward cullen paksa tah kami antar u ke neraka..
edward cullen: TIDAK AKU TAK PECAYEEE~

then ke neraka tia ia. baru jua kan masuk ke neraka ada tia syaitan ani.

syaitan: u lagi. eh, apakan ni. majal jua eh. cubatah insaf tah dapat jua ke syurga.
edward cullen: well me dari syurga bah, tapi ada darah joko dalam bdn me ani. inda tia kana terima. kana antar tarus ke sini.
syaitan: gerenti malaikat big punya kraja ni. sbenarnya kami pun nda accept c joko bah. sorry lah.
edward cullen: apa? ke dunia tah me balik ni?
syaitan: paksa jua kan. inda apa if u ke dunia this time gerenti inda mati. well me tau u masih mau siruk darah bini2 rite?
edward cullen: yeah..
syaitan: well, me ada recommendation untuk u. this time nada u mati2 ni. well are now one of the non-living things

tuk tak tuk tak tuk tak.... apakan tu ah ertinya ah tuk tak tuk ah? me pun.

sudh di dunia. tau u apa ia jadi? well cuba tah u teka. non-living thing, tapi isap darah bini2. well if u mau cari edward cullen masane bejuritan tu di kadai2. well u aga saja hua ho. if u teliat the word "kotex" ia udah tu c edward cullen ah. paham u? me pun. hehehehhehe

kisah edward cullen part 3 (baca part sebelum ani dulu)

dengan kuasa magic, edward cullen pun turun ke bumi for the second time. ia sudah jadi vampire. well, siapa jadi vampire ani hidup durg immortal meaning live forever.

edward cullen: eh hensem me ani. nice body. mcm human me ani.
joko: eh, lawa u ani. boleh kenalan?
edward cullen (dlm hati): eh, ia lagi. lari saja eh.

so hidupnya masih jua sama mcm dulu. nampak bini2 lawa disiruk darahnya. masa ia jadi bat ia jua. nada mau insaf ia ani.

edward cullen: well, darah ani beh ah mcm coke twist plus mentos wah. nyaman jua tu.

adeh, mcm2 jua c edward cullen ani. manis manis. well, as the book called twilight said, ia jumpa bini2 ani fell in love and whatever..no need to go into the details lah. *adeh, sudah diri punya love story labih2 ya* well, the girl died tua.. tapi c edward cullen masih hidup pasal ia masih immortal *kalau twilight lain pulg endingnya* so biasalah.. edward cullen ani hidup lonely ever since.

joko: well beh, me slalu ada disisi u. jgn lupa tu.

bagi c edward cullen, no one can replace bini2 yg disukai nya. yang membari heran lah, c joko ani masih jua hidup.. astee.. nada mau mati2 nya. oleh kerana hidup lonely, heart broken, heart felt so empty like half of it has already been taken, ia pun bunuh diri.

lapas atu masuk tia edward cullen balik ke neraka..

syaitan: u lagi. nada mau branti. nada kan besangal. mua u saja. nada u ada c joko. ada c joko nada u.
edward cullen: eh maksud u joko pernah ke sini jua??
syaitan: awu, bah adang ckp psal c joko ani.

tiba-tiba.. iblis pun datang. bowh~

iblis: u lagi. nada mau besangal u ani. ngaleh me bah sebenarnya menyeksa u ani. syaitan, uruskan kan edward cullen ani.
syaitan: aite ibs.. so edward cullen, oleh kerana kami sangal meliat u lagi. we all decided to send u back to earth. well this time we inda mau u jadi bat or vampire yg lain plg.
edward cullen: well me masih mau isap darah tapi inda mau handsome. well sama lah mua me atu dengan yg lain..

so apa yg terjadi.. edward cullen pun jadi nyamuk setelah sampai ke dunia. inda batah atu baru jua kan mengisap darah orang.. kana ampas tia oleh c joko. well c edward cullen inda pulg tau yg di isapnya atu c joko pasal ia mana ada mata. ia pakai instinct nya saja. or emotions nya. whatever lah. disebabkan kana ampas plus tangan joko yg bebau, edward cullen pun mati..

this time edward cullen pun ke langit tujuh.. diliatnya cahaya di mana2.. ice cream di mana2.. biskut di mana2.. gula-gula di mana2.. nada melamine.. astee..

bersambung~

kisah edward cullen part 2 (baca part 1 dulu)

well, in Islam siapa saja bunuh diri even binatang tarus ke neraka or hell. so edward cullen pun ke neraka..

edward cullen: panas neraka ani kalah masa me main bunga api masa raya lapas.
syaitan: eh edward cullen ni. what's the reason u ke sini ani?
edward cullen: umm.. u punya reason apakan?
syaitan: adeh, ditanya nya balik lagitu. kan besamseng di neraka lagi ni. me ampas u krg.

then iblis dtg.. bowh~

iblis: eh u rupanya. we've been expecting u. well apa yg u buat di dunia atu bagi me kira mulia tu di sisi me. so me bagi u first-class room di neraka.
edward cullen: nice ibs.. thanks ibs.
iblis: wait a minute...
syaitan: eh lagu pussycat dolls tu. tau u ah ibs..
iblis: eh dalam badan u ani ada joko punya blood. ani banar. no class for you ni.
edward cullen: eh mana ada. mana me pernah siruk blood joko... wait a minute..
syaitan: u pun tau jua lagu atu. manis manis.

c edward cullen pun teingat masa ya mabuk bakas minum air kelapa ah. rupanya masa ia mabuk tersiruk darah joko..

iblis: TIADA MAAF BAGIMU! HAHAHAHA!
edward cullen: tidak! aku tak percayeee!

for twenty years, edward cullen di seksa brabisly di neraka. sudah atu kana panggil tia balik c edward cullen ah.

syaitan: so how was neraka?
edward cullen: !@#$%^&*()
syaitan: andangnya tu. inda apa. me bagi u chance.
edward cullen: chan? jackie chan?
syaitan: inda me bagi u peluang untuk hidup sekali lagi di dunia.
edward cullen: iawah? nice~
syaitan: tapi u ke dunia bukan in the form of bat tapi selain dari atu.
edward cullen: bah me mau jadi vampire. i still like to suck blood u know.
syaitan: ur wish is now granted.

tidak lama kemudian...

bersambung~

kisah edward cullen part 1

introduction:

edward cullen is a vampire in twilight. what was his story? how did he actually become a vampire? what did happen to edward cullen after twilight?

the story starts like this..

long time ago before edward cullen ani sebenarnya kelawar same as bat but not the same as batman which the same as dark knight. kelawar dahulunya memang samseng. liat bini2 lawa disiruk darah bini2 atu.

edward cullen: nyaman darah beh ani eh. tata~ *lapas siruk tarus pecut*

edward cullen anikan sebenarnya handsome banar. kalah me *eksen me* iatah ia sng2 saja dapat menyiruk darah bini2 bejalan, berlari, berehat, berunggau and me begurau. hehehe oleh kerana kan tiap2 hari menyiruk ganya, obese tia ia ani. meaning bukan lagi bat tapi fatbat. inda tia gana gunai c edward cullen ani.

edward cullen: joko~ u are my only hope. im hungry.

tapi c joko pun nda beguna bah edward cullen ah. fat banar jua udah tu c edward cullen ah. well nada orang beguna kan kedia, bunuh diri tia ia~ jeng jeng jeng..

bersambung...

p/s: joko ani bini2 paling bida dalam dunia based on a true story tu beh.

the addictive game and some other stuff

so we, some of ppb and unknown teamless guy have been playing this game called The Sims. LAME! hahha but it is still cool. ramai kamu tau kaliah apa game ani. so yeah, instead of studying di skulah we mostly wasted our time playing this game like hell. this game has many demons than u think. Jazmi, not the unknown teamless guy, promised to bring The Sims 2 tomorrow. I hope ia ingat. and tomorrow, maybe i will sleep at ayyub's house in ayyub's room. hahah di sana kan install the expansion pack untuk The Sims ah and study additional maths like i never study before. haaha.

tadi english 1 i did the secrets topic 4. damn mudahan saja inda keluar topic. ada ada saja bah fikiran ku ah. i hope the examiner will die because ia flattered brabis kan composition that I did. haha labih2. the ending was lame something like "maybe you know her secret too. so i don't have to tell you. if did the word 'secret will be vanished. so keep these secrets between you, me and her" LAME. hahaha idealess wah.

right now liat nasib labu dan labi. siuk lah critanya. borrowed dari ayyub. manis eh ia atu. ahhaah ~achi achi buka pintu. nana balik hai pukul satu~ lastly, terrorists got TNT (TGT) LAME!!! :D

next week, nada manis

so minggu dpan, bukan belakang will be gila wah tu yo! priksa nda branti. timetable ku lagi ilang. so to the o level candidates baiktah belajar. entah, aku payah kan tebelajar masa ani. banyak bah kan dipikirkan ah.

monday, 10th November,2008
MATHEMATICS (SYLLLABUS D) PAPER 2

tuesday, 11th November,2008
ADDITIONAL MATHS PAPER 1

wednesday, 12th November,2008
PHYSICS PAPER 1 & 2

thursday, 13th November,2008
ADDITIONAL MATHS PAPER 2
PRINCIPLES OF ACCOUNT PAPER 2

btw, aku tau bila exam ani dari statement of entry ku.

one more month

exactly one month from now will be my birthday.

these are my wishes:

1. hoping to read my first birthday greeting from her. so to the guys mun kn msg aku msg pagi2. maybe midnight kana book tu.
2. total amount of money, $1000000. sng ku bejalan di mana2. lanja bebeh pun dapat tu.
   
3. sleepless. banyak bah brg ku kan buat ani. iatah

entah eh. nda ku tau bah apakan di buat ani. nanti lagi ku update.

Liverpool Kalah!

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA :D

Twilight bebeh

so twilight ani kisah mengenai love story nyamuk basar aka vampire sama human bini2. catulah. semasa durg becinta mcm2 durg alami. ada buruk dan ada nda. nada yg bangas. hehehe kalau boy membaca mcm gay plg. tapi me membaca jua. gayness me pun mcm tekeluar bah. nasib jua temporary saja. mun nda BJ ur own batang eh. paham2 saja. sekarang ani durg buat movie nya dah. di puni aka brunei main masa anu 21 nubimber 2008 meaning November 21st, 2008. gambar bawah ani durg punya cast nya. actor sama actress lah tu. masa ne me kan ikutkan style rambut edward cullen ah. manis bah rambut nya ah. iatah me teikut2.

edward cullen ani yg tangah2 yg memaluk gf me ah.

p/s: to gf me yg lagi satu jgn marah. hehehehe *ketawa manja*

the 7 things I hate about you

1. not your laugh
2. you didnt laugh at some of my jokes
   
3. not your hair
4. not your eyes
5. not your personality
6. you are too hot for me
   
7. you make me love you

Ayyub's room

Right now i'm in his room. tidur sini arah rumahnya. sepatutnya aku tidur rumah nini ku plg tapi rumah c ayyub ada internet so aku ksna. ntah eh.. gila wah bilik nya ah. malas kan cakap nyamu. bejurit nyanta! ahahaha

bawah ni a few photos yg ku ambil.

gila wah tu dude

sorry k's nya nda cukup. kes keburingan.